


drag me away

by fallingforthecaptain



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, Heartbreak, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Romance, Universe Alteration
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 22:27:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7124968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingforthecaptain/pseuds/fallingforthecaptain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is happy with Sharon but money is tight after he returns home from the army and she suggests he work at a gay club she went to with friends. There he starts to get feelings for Bucky, a guy who comes in to watch the show and pick up guys though he only talks to Steve now. They fall in love and Steve has to choose between Sharon and Bucky. AU no superheroes</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. one

Steve stood backstage and could actually feel his legs shaking, what the hell was he doing? He knew they needed money but a drag competition? He shook his head and looked down at his outfit, he looked like a man in a dress, but some of the people waiting looked more like women than some of the female soldiers he had been deployed with! He glanced around knowing Sharon was right, it was easy money and if he caught the eye of the man who ran the place, Tony Stark, then he could have a regular gig doing this and they would have extra money coming in...all he had to do was what Sharon had shown him mime along to I am What I am and do the routine she made up for him...if only it was that easy... 

Bucky leant against the bar and glanced out over the crowd, he was popular on the scene and dressed in tight fitted jeans and a white tight shirt to show off his body. He was not a big guy, but he had a good body and he loved coming to the club and seeing who he could score with. He knew he looked good and he took a sip of whiskey eager for the drag competition to end so the straights would leave and he could take his pick. 

Backstage Steve was close to backing out, his heart was beating fast and the contestant in front of him was almost finished. Beside him stood Tony Stark, they had said a cursory hello but it was clear he was not going to stand for idle chit chat he had a job to do. Steve understood people like that well and though he could barely walk in the heels he had on, and the corset was digging into his ribs he knew he could not go back on his word. 

He and Sharon had been together for a while and were living together, talk of children and marriage often came up and he knew she wanted better than the life he could give her on servicemen's pension. He had spoken to his councillor Sam Wilson and he had simply laughed and begged for photographs...though he did mention that stepping out of your comfort zone can give a person a new outlook though a gay bar was not exactly the usual choice! 

The music ended and Tony Starke smiled over at him, "Good luck!" and with that headed out to introduce him. Steve watched him walk around with his arms outstretched like a circus ring leader, getting the crowd going and making him sound like someone to watch. He frowned as he pondered why he would talk him up more than the others, though his ID did say he was a serviceman they had not spoken about it. Shrugging he knew he needed to get his head in the game and he took a deep breath as his song started and Tony stepped back into the wings. 

Bucky was bored, he had screwed all the good looking guys and if he was honest he was getting to the point where he wanted more. He knew most of his friends would mock him for it, but he honestly wanted to grow up and settle down. He worked for the army though he told nobody what he did and tried to forget the things he had done by drinking and fucking. This was not somewhere to meet someone to settle down with though and he downed his whiskey thinking of calling it a night, he just was not in the mood.  
Sniffing he nodded a hello to an old flame and glanced up at the stage and froze, there dancing around like an idiot was the worst drag artist he had ever seen! It was easy to see that he never did his own make up, he couldn't walk in those heels, and the colour of the dress!...But there was something about how he was clearly giving it his all and his all too blue eyes that drew Bucky in. He smiled and leant against the bar ordering another drink...he was not going to leave until he had met that man! 

Steve stumbled off the stage and took a seat with the other contestants, his eyes scanned the crowd for Sharon who stood up and waved over at him. He smiled back and shook his head knowing for sure he didn't stand a chance. He had danced around like an idiot, and almost fallen twice! He was just glad that he could sit down, it was over now he had given it a try and Sharon could say nothing more about it. 

Bucky kept his eyes trained on the clearly relieved cute guy who thought he had no chance, but he hadn't heard the crowd! Everyone had gone crazy for him and Bucky could tell he had a good body...but then he noticed a blonde woman waving at him and he shook his head, "Of course he's straight!" he said rolling his eyes. He hated straight guys trying to walk on the wild side, but as he looked back at him he couldn't help but feel that wasn't the reason he was here. 

Tony Stark stepped to the front of the stage and smiled, "You have been a great audience and wasn't all our ladies fabulous? Give them a round of applause!" he said waiting for it to die down. "Your reactions have been taken into consideration, as well as my own personal view of them because they are winning a spot here every Wednesday night!" the crowd cheered "And the winner is.....contestant number 5!" 

It took a moment for it to register, Steve frowned and looked at his arm, yes that was his number but there must be a mistake? Nudged along by the other contestants and the crowd he stumbled up to the stage and was handed a cheque and as he looked out he wondered what the hell he was going to do every week? He looked out unhearing and unseeing as a cute boy by the bar decided he would have to start coming to the club every week....  
_________________________________________________________________________  
Hope you all like it, this will be a story of love and decisions, of courage to choose and be yourself...Please like and review to keep the muse dancing


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve finally meet and Bucky realises he has it bad for a straight guy...or is he?

Steve sat on the bed and glanced over at the assortment of new clothes he had bought that day, the bright fabrics and too much glitter was laid out on the bed. He sighed heavily and wondered what the hell he had got himself into. He knew they needed the money, and he knew he needed to work as hard as Sharon did he was a strong man and he could handle the job! Tonight he would be learning about the bar, on a Wednesday he would be on stage, but Mr Starke had made it very clear that they would help him hone his act not his girlfriend! One of the other drag acts Pietro and his sister Wanda had taken him shopping and she had promised to teach him to walk in heels properly when they taught him a new routine on Tuesday.   
  
Mr Stark had offered him to work the bar as well as a routine and if he did well he could pick up shifts on other nights too. Running his fingers through his hair he lay back wondering if working in a gay bar was right for him, he was straight...well he had little crushes on guys in the past but that didn't mean anything right? He frowned as his thoughts ran away with him and he started to get a headache, shaking his head he got up and put the new clothes away in the spare room where it was unlikely to be bought into his relationship with Sharon.  
  
Sharon had been the one to suggest going in for the competition, to her it was just some fun, but Steve had to wonder what this meant for his masculinity. He had been bought up in a fairly conservative household and though he was open minded and believed in freedom of speech and to be who you were he was troubled. Did dancing around in a dress mean he was gay? Did it mean he would be a victim of ridicule if any of his friends found out? He knew he should just take it as a job and nothing more, but it really was making him question himself and he wasn't too sure what the answers were!  
  
He pulled on a pair of jeans and a clean white T-shirt like Tony had said and headed down to say goodbye to Sharon. He stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Sharon had been doing the dishes when a song she loved had come on. He smiled and crossed his arms over his chest as he leant on the doorframe and watched her dance around, shaking her booty and singing badly. He shook his head as she noticed him and started dancing over to him, "I have to go to work...you know that new job you made me get?" he said with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Sharon giggled and nodded, "I know babe, but honestly I think it will be good for you! You could use some new friends and to get out of your comfort zone you always seem so stiff and uptight!" she teased.  
  
Steve shook his head and leant down to kiss her, "I am just thinking of the money! And if I am honest I kinda like the thought of working on the bar! Tony said I might be able to pick up some more shifts if I pick it up fast, I think that's the main reason he hired me it certainly wasn't for my dancing skills!" he said rolling his eyes and kissing her once more before making his way to the door.  
  
Before he could get there Sharon whistled, "I think it's because of your great ass!" and he laughed shaking it a little before blowing her a kiss and heading out the door.  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Bucky was bored, there was nothing on the TV and as he scrawled through his contacts he realised he had stopped sleeping with them all for a reason! Shutting it off he rested his head back and sighed, he needed to meet someone maybe he should give tonight at the club a chance? Tuesday was always singles night, and by that they meant singles looking to settle down not a quick feel in the bathroom and then home before kicking them out! He glanced up at the clock then decided he could always leave if he didn't fancy anyone...or if too many of his exes were there!  
  
He took a long, hot shower and decided to wear a shirt and black jeans, this was a different look for the club and he hoped people would see he was changing. He wanted to settle down not spend his life as a fuck buddy to anyone and everyone! He was bored of that and knew if he could just find the one he could finally be happy, maybe make his small apartment into a home finally and cheer the hell up!  
  
He was one of the first at the club and he noticed Tony Stark was there, his eyes narrowed as he wondered why this was not his thing far too quiet a night for him to make an appearance. Tony looked equally shocked to see him there and they looked at one another with distain neither liking the other and both having far too much respect to hide it.  
  
"James Barnes as I live and Breathe!" rolling his eyes he turned to see Scott Lang, an old friend who came because of the cheap booze and good music. He was straight but as he mainly stayed by the bar and was funny most people became friends with him. "You know there is a new guy at the bar tonight? He dropped two bottles of beer and I only ordered one! It was hilarious! He seems nice though, ex-army he's called Steve and he is saving up for something...was it a wedding? Could have been a car to be honest I wasn't paying attention!"  
  
Bucky shook his head and laughed, "I wondered why Tony was here, must be training him or something! I'm going to get a beer you want one?"  
Scott laughed and nodded, "Yeah I'll have one thanks make sure you ask Steve to serve you he might break something else!" he shouted over the music and laughed.  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Steve was starting to get annoyed with himself, he felt like he was all fingers and unable to do the simplest of tasks! He hated learning new things, but with more men than were in his battalion watching him and after his one customer could not stop laughing at him he was starting to lose confidence. Tony was now showing him how to make cocktails, apparently they were the big sellers on a Wednesday and that was when he would be working.  
  
He was adding the finishing touches to a disgusting looking yellow thing with half a banana hanging out of it when he noticed someone leaning on the bar in front of him. He looked up and stopped dead, a gorgeous man with the most attractive blue eyes he had ever seen was smiling at him. He swallowed hard and coughed to clear his throat, "Erm can I get you something?"  
  
Bucky smiled wider and nodded, "Sure sounds perfect I was going to order a beer but I think I will take one of those please...oh and a beer for my pal Scott he said you dropped two when he ordered?"  
  
Steve closed his eyes and nodded, "Oh please apologise again! I promise I am not usually this clumsy! I was in the army I handled weapons but for some reason this has got me all kinds of nervous!"  
  
Bucky flashed him a smirk and raised a brow, "Oh I don't know nervous is cute on you! I am in the army myself...mainly stuff I can't talk about but I have a good counsellor erm Sam Wilson do you know him?"  
  
Steve's eyes widened and he leant on the bar, "No way! He's mine too, I see him once a week working through some issues PTSD the usual, he's really easy to talk to!" He smiled up at Bucky then offered his hand "Steve Rogers always nice to meet a fellow serviceman!"  
  
Bucky looked down at his hand and then shook it, "James Buchanan, but most people call me Bucky! Didn't you win that drag competition last week?" he asked to which Steve's cheeks flushed and he nodded. Bucky nodded too and looked down "Yeah I was rooting for you...I think it was your arms that did it, I mean no offence but it certainly wasn't your dancing!"  
  
Steve laughed and handed over the drinks and took the money, "None taken I was sure I was going to come last!  
  
Bucky smiled genuinely and picked up the drinks, "Well I'm glad you won, I will be here ordering...well beer usually! Thanks!" and he turned to head back to Scott who was looking at him like he was insane. Steve was everything he wanted in a guy, and he was straight just his luck!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feelings are taking over from logic and both men plunge in knowing they both want more...but how will Steve react?

A week had passed since Steve had started working at the bar and Bucky could not get him out of his head! He lay on his bed and rested the back of his hand against his forehead as he stared up at the ceiling. He was royally screwed, he was a veteran, he knew Sam Wilson, he was straight...he was straight... "He is straight!" Bucky said firmly to himself before sitting up. He roughly grabbed his pack of cigarettes off the bedside table and lit one, he needed to get his shit together. He had not spoken to anyone that night, instead he had hung around Scott all night drinking badly made cocktails and staring at Steve who in fairness had caught his eye more than a few times! 

By the end of the night Bucky had been drunk and convinced himself that he had a chance, he had even slipped Steve his number saying if he wanted someone to try his drinks while he practiced to give him a call. He had smiled and taken the number then called him a cab and made sure he got in okay...he was a gentleman and so totally different to his usual type but he had not called and as the week went on Bucky had fallen into depression. 

Scott had called round a few times to offer to go to the bar again, the joker convinced that Bucky could 'turn him' an expression he hated and had said as such. He didn't want to be some straight guy's walk on the wild side, he had been there before and never wanted to be hurt like that again. He leant his arms on his thighs and stared at the floor as he smoked, his dogtags caught in his white vest and only wearing boxers with it he felt exposed. His emotions felt raw in a way he had never felt before and his thoughts wandered back to Steve in that tight white shirt every few moments. 

Hearing a knock at the door he sighed and stubbed out the cigarette before pulling on a pair of jeans and grabbing a shirt. He knew who it was, Scott Lang was there and he was going to give in tonight because this was Steve's first night on stage! He didn't know why but he wanted to be there for him, and he wondered if Sharon he had mentioned would be there too? Sighing he went to the door hoping he could show Steve he could at least be a good friend to him. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Steve was nervous...no he was terrified, Wanda was adjusting his wig and touching up his make up as Pietro her brother once again went through the routine with him backstage. He was going to be serving at the bar after this, though thankfully in his normal clothes because his back was already killing him! He felt totally lost as and too hot as he glanced out of the curtain looking for Sharon who had promised she would be there if she could. Work had been giving her a lot of extra hours and she didn't like to say no because she wanted to get married the following year. 

She wasn't there, but leaning against the bar was Bucky...his breath caught in his throat as he looked him up and down and licked his suddenly dry lips. How the hell was he going to dance in front of him? He closed his eyes and leant against the wall behind him thankful for the fact that it was keeping him upright. Nobody had ever had such an immediate effect on him and though he loved Sharon he had felt like they were going through the motions somehow? They got engaged because her friends had started dropping hints and they had been together a while, now they were saving to buy a house and get married but he was starting to feel like he was trapped into doing things because he was expected to. 

Days earlier Steve had confessed to meeting Bucky and how he made him question himself and his values. He never wanted to hurt Sharon, but what if she was not the one for him? Or was it just that he was around sexy available men flirting with him and so he had got a crush on a guy again? Though when he posed that question to Sam he had pointed out that straight men don't actually get 'crushes' on other men...he had even made the air quotes with his fingers and given him a booklet about men and their sexuality which was still hidden in the car! 

Sighing he opened his eyes to see Wanda looking at him, "Are you okay?" she asked her accent thick, "You know I have not been here long, but sometimes boys come here not just for the money? My brother he loves meeting men, but he is here for the money...you? I not so sure..." 

Steve shook his head and glanced over at Bucky before looking back at her, "NO I'm just nervous...it's a big night for me come on it's almost my turn!" he said hurrying Wanda away and busying her with doing his make up to change the subject. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bucky ran his hand over his face and turned his back to the stage, Steve had just finished shaking what he had and he could tell the club had been working with him. Scott looked disappointed and ordered two more beers, "That's a shame, he almost fell three times at the competition! Stark loves everything polished it spoils it sometimes!" 

The soldier nodded and looked down at the bar, his friend was often his wingman when on the prowl but he hadn't been interested in anyone since Steve came to the club. He knew Scott could see right through him, but instead of making fun he just stood beside him and occasionally made comment on the crowd. 

Half an hour after stepping from the stage Steve stepped behind the bar in a tight white shirt and jeans that hung off his hips in the perfect way. It actually made Bucky's mouth water and he closed his eyes and sighed willing his body to shake off this crush and move on! Downing the rest of his beer he glanced over at Scott, "Another?" he asked to which his friend nodded and smiled clearly knowing why he had rushed through his last drink. 

Steve was serving someone, but when he noticed Bucky he smiled warmly and nodded a hello. "What can I get you?" he asked as soon as he finished. 

Bucky leant on the bar and smiled up at him, "Two beers please? So you did better, you been practicing?" 

Steve smirked and looked embarrassed as he scratched behind his ear, "Err yeah, Mr Stark thought I needed polishing! To be honest though I wish he would just let me look after the bar!"

Bucky nodded, "I must admit I do like to see you stretch up for the optics in that shirt!" he felt his cheeks flush and shook his head before looking down. Why was he flirting? Had he lost his mind or just wanting to torture himself?

Steve laughed nervously and handed over the two beers, "Thanks, though I wonder how your boyfriend feels about that?" he said nodding towards Scott. 

Bucky looked surprised and glanced over at Scott, "Oh no he's just my friend! My wingman, he's straight we just hang out together!" 

Steve nodded and bit his lower lip, he realised then that he said the other man was his wingman but he never chatted to anybody but Scott or himself. He had of course heard stories from the staff about Bucky who took a different guy home every night, but even they had noticed he hadn't picked anyone up for a while...so why had Steve just asked if he was with Scott? Shaking his head he put Bucky's drinks through the till and carried on serving. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three hours later the bar was winding down and Steve was getting ready to leave, sat on a stood at the bar he took a drink of a beer and listened as Pietro gave him pointers. Of course he wanted to improve and he wanted to listen, but right then he was staring at Bucky. The other man was sat in a booth with Scott who was talking away much like Pietro, but Bucky was just staring back at Steve. 

He felt too hot in his leather jacket, but kept it on so nobody would ask him to serve them, his chest felt tight and his stomach was doing summersaults. All he wanted to do was walk over there and kiss his pouty, thick lips and drag him somewhere private...he had never thought that about another guy but Bucky had him in a tailspin He loved Sharon, but she hadn't been there for him tonight, Bucky had. 

Breathing hard he nodded towards the bathroom and Bucky nodded, he watched as he got up and headed towards the gents. Steve swallowed hard though his mouth had never felt so dry and downed the rest of his beer. He looked up at Pietro and smiled, "Thanks I erm...I need the bathroom..." he said absentmindedly and stalked off towards the mens room, unaware that Scott Lang was watching and chuckling to himself.

The moment Steve stepped through the door he felt Bucky's hands on his chest pushing him firmly against the wall. Their eyes met and for a moment it felt as if all the air had been sucked from the room. Taking a painful breath he lunged forward his lips crashing against Bucky's in a messy, passionate and forceful kiss that seemed to make his whole body come to life. Bucky's hands seemed to be everywhere at once but Steve didn't know what to do with his, this felt so different. Then as fast as it began the kiss was over, Bucky's forehead rested against Steve's and his hands were against the wall either side of his body. 

They were both breathing heavily, their eyes closed as they tried to recover, "I can't be the other guy or some experiment..." Bucky muttered "I want you I cannot stop thinking about you but I need to know you want me too...and not just for a fuck!"

Steve opened his eyes and leant back against the wall, he felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice-cold water over him. He wanted more than that too but how could he express that when he didn't even know what all this meant...and how could he just walk away from everything he had with Sharon? Swallowing hard he nodded, lost and numb he knew he needed to sort himself out because this was more than just a crush.


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is full of guilt and so lost, but Sam Wilson steers him in the right direction...

**OK so this chapter is just from Steve's point of view and then the next will be Bucky's, hope you enjoy...**

****

XXX

Steve had never kissed a man before, he hadn't expected to be able to feel how strong Bucky was, or the scratch from his stubble. His hands were everywhere and he could not get out of his head how much he wished he had moved his own. He spent all the next day imagining how Bucky's firm muscular back would feel under his hands, or how his tones chest and stomach would had reacted to his touch if he had only been able to think! He felt so many emotions the next day but most of all he was angry and lost.

he was angry because he had always prided himself on being a good man, on having good morals and yet the first real temptation comes along and he gave in! He had never cheated before and yet he had kissed Bucky, he had initiated it and then Bucky had said he didn't want to be the other person he wanted more with him...and if Steve really thought hard he knew he wanted more with Bucky too.

He was an incredible person who had spoken about his work in the army, about his own PTSD, and who had been nothing but welcoming, kind and funny to Steve. Other people who worked there had noticed it too, mentioning how he only got served by Steve now and that he was not flirting with anyone else. Bucky liked him, really liked him and Steve could tell because he had taken the time to get to know him, and though Steve had basically thrown himself at him he had stopped things.

Which led Steve to his next feeling and that was being lost...he had never acted like that before, he had never cheated and he had never made a move with another man before. Of course it could have just been that he was upset Sharon hadn't been there for his first night, but was that all it was?

When he had got home that night Sharon had set up a candlelit night with champagne and sexy negligee to apologise. Steve had felt guilty so he had said he thought he was coming down with something and she had made him some tea instead and they had gone to bed. But as Steve cuddled up to Sharon that night he had wondered how he could still be thinking about Bucky when he had the most amazing woman in his arms?

He loved Sharon, he did, but they had been going through the motions for a while, he knew things were not amazing between them and they had become more like best friends than an engaged couple. He knew he needed to sort out his feelings and talk to her, she had tried to get him to open up, but after three days of him saying it was nothing she had given up. What could he say? That he had fallen for a guy at the club and kissed him? That he hadn't felt like he was 'in' love with her for a while now?

Steve sighed and flopped down on the sofa, his hands balled into fists in the pockets of his hoodie and he stared blankly at the ceiling. His stomach was in knots, he hadn't eaten since the kiss and Sharon was sure he had some kind of bug and needed to go to the doctor. The problem was he would usually talk these things through with his best friend, but Sharon would be hurt if he just blurted out the way he felt. Glancing up at the clock he sighed again, his favourite pastime these days, before starting to get ready for his appointment with Sam.

XXX

Steve knocked the door lightly before going inside and closing it behind him, Sam looked up with a big smile about to greet him until he saw him. The therapist's eyes widened and he leant back in his chair, "Wow you look like shit! I take it you aren't doing so good?" he asked reaching for his prescription pad ready to change Steve's medication for his PTSD.

Steve shook his head and shrugged, "No this isn't the nightmares! I'm dealing with some...personal things right now there is no need for a meds change!"

Sam nodded and sat back in his chair, his hands in a prayer position in front of his mouth as he thought over what he just said. Clearing his throat he glanced up at him, "Is it the new job? Is it affecting your relationship with Sharon?" he asked before seeing some reticence on his client's face. Sam nodded, "You know I am not just here for your mental health problems related to your career, it all can affect your diagnosis and your life now is just as important as what happened to your men! I want you to know that whatever you tell me here is in confidence, I want you to be well that's why I'm here so come on you can't keep on like this can you?"

Steve looked up at him, the uncertainty and fear easy to read on his face, then he opened his mouth and it all came out. It was like word vomit and everything he said made him feel a little bit lighter, by the time he had told Sam everything he was thinking and feeling that tight knot in his stomach was gone and he was exhausted.

Sam looked like he had just been hit with a truck, but to be fair he shook it off quickly and nodded as he took a moment to process everything. Taking a deep breath he smiled softly, "Wow no wonder you look like shit! You know going to work at the club could be the best thing to have happened to you, or it could be the worst! You have so many options now and the only person who knows which path is right for them is you, but you are scared and that is perfectly normal! I have a few organisations I can get you in touch with if you want but I think the best thing you could do is talk to them!"

Steve looked up in shock and Sam smiled, "Oh yeah you didn't want to hear that huh? But unless you talk to Sharon about how she feels about the relationship you won't know if she feel s the same...and if you don't talk to Buck you won't know what an amazing guy he is he's done with a lot in the service and he's dealt with it in some pretty unhealthy ways, until recently. Now you know I can't discuss another client but I will say he's taking these sessions a lot more seriously these days and I think you know why! Give him a call meet up with him away from the club and talk! Get to know him find out if it's just lust or if there is something more there!"

Steve thanked Sam and shook his hand, before he had gone there he had been determined not to talk about how he felt because he was embarrassed. But Sam hadn't judged him, in fact he had gone on to explain about bisexuality and being bi-curious and made him see that a lot of men got these feelings. Now it was down to him to find out whether he was bisexual or just wanted to experience having sex with a guy, though he was pretty sure it wasn't that it was good to know more about it.

XXX

Steve was home long before Sharon and decided that before he spoke to her he would see if Bucky wanted to meet up. They had a lot to talk about, he wanted to know how he felt when he knew him better and he also wanted to know how he felt. Opening up and talking was not easy, but he was determined this time he was going to take the plunge life was too short for regrets. He paced the floor as the phone rang and took a deep breath and he heard Bucky's hello, "Can we meet for coffee?" The words almost got caught in his throat he was so scared, but Buck agreed they needed to talk and they arranged to meet in an hour in town.

XXX

**Next time we will see how the meet up and the big talk goes... reviews and follows keep me writing xx**


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve need to talk, both men are lost and confused and talking and being honest is the only way forward

**Hi guys, this chapter is from Bucky's point of view, he is on an emotional rollercoaster so buckle up!**

XXX

Bucky had been a mess ever since that kiss! His life had been spent chasing something to get a rush, something to make him feel alive again! Drugs had never worked, though he had tried pretty much everything...alcohol helped him to stop thinking about what happened, but it also made him do stupid things so it was not a long term solution...sex had shut off his thoughts for a while, but straight afterwards was the feeling of being used and then the return of his dark memories and they usually felt worse!

But then he kissed Steve and it was like a kick to the chest from an angry mule! He wanted more, it was like this man was the ultimate addiction, but unlike all his others he actually wanted to do things right! He had been the one to pull back, the ultimatum that he didn't want to be the other guy had fallen from his lips before he could think straight! He wished he could have just fucked him and got him out of his system, and that had been the idea when he had gone into the bathroom with him; but the he had realised he wanted more!

Since then he hadn't heard from Steve and when he asked at the bar they had said he was off sick! Bucky had considered giving him a call to check on him, but something had told him to back off, he had never been in this situation but coming to terms with being gay or whatever he was needed time! Waiting was hard but as he paced his living room chain smoking he knew he had to give Steve space, this time he would be sure that the guy really wanted to be with him!

He felt his phone buzzing in his pocket and considered ignoring it, it was probably his best friend Scott checking on him for the hundredth time! Sighing he pulled it from his pocket and glanced at the name, his eyes widening as he saw it was Steve. There was no pre-amble, no hello how are you, just a simple request to meet up for coffee...

XXX

Bucky had changed clothes four times before deciding to wear blue jeans, an almost transparent black T-shirt and a denim jacket. He smoothed his hair and stomped out his cigarette before heading inside the small coffee shop, glancing around he noticed Steve was not there yet so he ordered a coffee and took a seat in a booth near the back. He felt kind of sick and very nervous as he fidgeted in his seat and tried to work out if he should take off his jacket or not. Before he could make a definitive decision the bell above the door rang out and he glanced up to see Steve stood in black jeans and a hoodie. He looked like he hadn't slept for a week, but smiled as soon as he noticed him before going up to order a drink.

Bucky straightened up and took a sip of his too hot coffee nervously as he waited, his eyes trailing over Steve taking in every single detail. He was sure the guy was going to say it had been a mistake and he would be leaving the club so he wanted to remember everything about him. He bit his lower lip and wished he had taken one of the outside tables so he could at least smoke, he didn't want things to be over. He started to think of reasons why they should have a chance, but he knew the ball was firmly in Steve's court and if he had decided to stay with Sharon he would have to deal with it.

Steve came over and looked awkward as he nodded a hello and took a seat opposite, he placed his coffee down on the table and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jumper. Bucky swallowed hard as Steve took a deep breath, "I am sorry I feel like I led you on the other day I just...I never felt this way about a man before and I wanted to kiss you so badly!" he leant forward resting his elbows on the table and sighed, "I know I am with someone, a woman...I wonder if you could ever feel you could trust me...or if she could when I tell her...I just..." he paused and ran his fingers through his blonde hair before looking up at Bucky finally "...I am just so lost!"

Bucky nodded and bit his lip, he hadn't said it was a mistake which gave him some hope, but Steve had also mentioned Sharon never trusting him so he still didn't know where he stood! Bucky leant an elbow on the table and cupped his chin with his hand, "I was 14 when I went through this! Stella Montello had just kissed me and I couldn't stop thinking about our history Professor Mr Giles! Things are more complicated for you I get that Steve I really do, I can't tell you what your sexuality is or what to do...I can only say that I am falling hard here and I don't want to get hurt!" he said shaking his head.

Steve let out a shaky breath and chewed the inside of his cheek, "I feel it too! I feel too much right now and I wish to god I had met some boy in school who made me feel like this so I could have it figured out!" He ran his fingers through his already messy hair and sighed once more, "I need to speak to Sharon! I am not a bad person I have never cheated before I never even thought about it and I need to be honest with her...no matter what happens I need to break things off with her she works too much and she is more my best friend than the person I'm going to marry!"

Bucky sat dumbstruck as he watched Steve squirm and rub the back of his neck, "Wow! I never...I mean I knew how I felt and I hoped but I didn't think you were going to break things off no matter what!"

Steve nodded and shrugged, "Whether I am bisexual or curious or whatever the hell I am one thing I know is I cannot marry her! I need to be open I don't like to lie and it's killing me not telling her about how I feel! She knows me better than anyone, she is my best friend I just got to hope she is still my best friend after tonight!"

Bucky leant back in his seat and looked up at Steve, "So where does that leave us? I mean..."

Before he could continue Steve held up a hand to stop him, "The simple and honest answer is I don't know! The last thing I want to do is use you or make you feel like I am just trying you out like a new car! Buck you mean a lot to me already and I know my knowledge of what I am is confusing but the fact is I have more respect for you than that! I spoke to Sam Wilson about everything, I hope you don't mind?" to which Bucky shook his head. "He gave me some websites and booklets that could help, and I thought I could maybe talk to Pietro? I just need to be sure I am not going to hurt you and all I can ask for is patience? I will be in touch I promise and I won't play you...I just need to get my head sorted before I...before we date or try dating you know?" he said his cheeks flushed.

Bucky nodded, "Hey I've been alone for a long time...feels like almost a hundred years! Time and space I can give you...but if we don't speak and don't see one another how will you?" Bucky looked up as Steve's hand covered his and their eyes met.

"I said nothing about space, I want to hang out, talk at the club I want to get to know you better! But after tonight I'm going to be needing to find a new place to live and I will need to read this stuff and yeah time is all ok? Could be weeks could be days, but I want us to be friends no matter what ok?"

Bucky smiled as Steve gave his hand a reassuring squeeze and he turned over his hand so their fingers could entwine. He nodded and let out a sigh that felt like it had been held for months! Steve glanced up at the clock and sighed, "Sharon should be home, I messaged to say we needed to talk so I think she is bringing take out and I need to get going...but don't give up okay? I know you thought this would be a regret talk but it's not I just want to be sure I don't hurt you!"

XXX

Bucky sat nursing his coffee long after Steve had left to speak to Sharon, he didn't know what to think or how to feel. Would Sharon convince him to stay with her? Or would he leave and realise he wanted to be with him? His hand still tingled from when they held hands and he felt like he wasn't himself, he needed to eat and have something to drink...one thing he knew for sure though was that he was going to leave Steve alone until he knew where he stood. Bucky had been hurt before like this and he was never going to be an experiment again he wanted so much more!

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 **Poor Bucky! Next chapter will be from Steve's point of view as he talks to Sharon and then tries to work out if his feelings are real! reviews and follows keep me writing xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve tells Sharon how he feels, comes out to his friends and asks Bucky out on a date

**This Chapter is all Steve as he tries to get his life sorted, to talk to Sharon and work out how he feels.**

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Steve left Bucky outside the coffee shop with a smile and the strong urge to kiss him which he fought though it killed him. Now he was back on the train to the apartment he shared with Sharon he knew he had a problem. He pulled his cell from his pocket and called Pietro, the two of them had become unlikely friends and he looked up to the man for being open and honest about who he was. Pietro and his sister worked hard, they seemed to be at the club whenever they were awake and he hoped he could ask a favour. Pietro had said that he was welcome to sleep on the couch for a few nights until he got a place of his own and it felt like a weight was off him to know he wouldn't have to pay for a motel.

By the time he got home Sharon had a take-out feast laid out on the table along with two beers, she looked nervous and he could tell she knew something big was coming. He opened his mouth to speak but she butted in, "Wait! I mean have some food, we can be civil right?" she said with a hopeful smile before going to take a seat.

Steve nodded and took his usual seat before placing some food on his plate and taking a sip of beer, he looked over at the woman he loved and cared for and knew he couldn't do this to her. "I am moving out...I know it might feel sudden to you but I haven't been happy for a while and I...I kissed someone and it's sent me into a tailspin I just need...god I'm sorry!"

Sharon was crying, but she nodded as if to say she understood, she sat back and bit her lower lip "I felt you weren't happy for a while, I just...I guess I didn't want to believe it? I know I have been all about work recently and I should have been there for you!"

Steve leant forward and took her hand in his, "No this isn't your fault! Shar you are my best friend and I know this hurts and for that I am so so sorry! I never wanted to hurt you and I just I guess I was going through the motions? I love you I always will but this isn't right for me I just hope we can stay friends?"

Sharon looked up at him and took a shaky breath, "We will always be friends Steve, I mean I've known you so long I know you would never intentionally hurt me!" She looked down and there was a short pause before she spoke again, "So who is she?"

Steve looked up and now it was his turn to be nervous again, "His name is Bucky, I met him at the club...he's military like me we talked a lot about what we went through and I don't know...I never even thought about being with a guy before and now I just...urgh I don't know what I'm doing anymore!"

She looked shocked when he looked back up at her, but then she shook her head and sighed, "Well I guess that explains your obsession with David Beckham!" they both laughed nervously and she sighed "You should follow your heart! If this guy makes you happy then go for it! We have pretty open minded friends I think they will be more pissed that you left me than the fact that it was for a guy!"

Sharon looked at all the food and felt no urge to eat but knew how much it cost so she started to eat, Steve numbly started to as well. They sat in silence both digesting what happened as they ate the food that seemed to have no taste. When both of their plates were empty and the left overs were put away Sharon turned to him, "Where are you going to stay?"

Steve ran his fingers through his hair and sighed, "My friend from the club said I could crash there until I find somewhere to stay. How are you going to afford this place?"

Sharon chewed her cheek and glanced around, "Well I guess I will ask around and get someone to take the second bedroom? I don't know I'll figure something out!" she said with a shrug.

Steve packed an overnight bag and with a hug and a promise they would meet up soon he was gone. He knew Sharon would be crying and if he was honest he felt like doing the same, this was a big step and he felt like back when he was a kid and climbed onto the high diving board to show off for a girl and realised he was terrified of heights!

xxx

The following few weeks went by in a blur, he spent it researching, asking questions, speaking to Wanda and Pietro and trying to work out who he was. He felt like a snake who had shed his skin and as the last box was placed in his new apartment he wondered what the future held for him? He knew Bucky would be in it, but in what capacity was still yet to be seen. They had spent most of his shifts talking, getting to know one another and becoming friends, and with every new thing he discovered about him the more Steve liked Bucky.

He knew he needed to take a step, and as he looked at the computer screen he smiled "Pietro Maximoff I am a bisexual man and I believe this is my coming out story!"

Pietro laughed and nodded, "Oh yes this great moment is shared between you and I! Congratulations my friend! You have a chance to have a new life with a man you love now...well if he can understand what you are!"

Steve frowned and looked at him in confusion, "Oh not every gay man feels they can trust someone who says they are bisexual! Some of them think it means you will cheat with women or that you are having fun until you marry some woman to pass for straight!"

Steve looked shocked, "I don't think Bucky is like that...but really people think that? They think that I could just be having fun until I marry a woman? Seriously who would put themselves through all of this if they didn't seriously feel for both sexes?"

He didn't know why he was so surprised, he had seen the middle aged men at the club, straight at work and then they come to the club to dance and meet men! Bucky had told him about Alexander Pierce who had fooled him into thinking he loved him and got him to do all sorts of things for him. It was all a rouse though, Alexander was never going to leave his wife and come out and when Bucky realised he had walked away a shell of the man he had been before.

Steve never wanted Bucky to think that so he made the decision that he would treat him like a king, he would make sure he never doubted how he felt for him. He was going to wine and dine him and it was not going to all be about sex, he wanted to date Bucky Barnes and in that moment he knew he was going to ask him out next time he saw him.

xxx

Steve had been watching Bucky dancing with his best friend all night and ignoring anyone who tried to ask him out all night. "Well looks like the straight boy has a crush!" the voice in his ear making him chuckle before looking up at Tony Starke who owned and ran the club.

Steve leant on the bar and raised a brow, "Who said I was straight? Oh yeah it was me...sorry thought I was turns out I'm a bisexual man with a crush!" Tony laughed and shook his head before walking away.

When Steve turned around Bucky was leaning on the bar, his white shirt was see through with sweat and where it clung to his body looked delicious. Steve swallowed hard and took a deep breath before getting their usual order, as he passed it over he smiled, "So I was thinking...do you like Italian? There is a new pasta place opened up near my new apartment? You fancy a candlelit meal for two with me? You can be lady and I'll be the Tramp?" he said wiggling his eyebrows though it was easy to see he was nervous.

Bucky laughed and nodded, "Sounds perfect, I'm free Friday night?" Steve nodded and handed him his change. "Though you are definitely the lady!" and laughed as he walked away. For the first time in a long time Steve felt as if a weight was off him, and he was genuinely happy, he had a date with Bucky Barnes!

xxx

**Hope you enjoyed that? Next time is from Bucky's point of view as he is taken on an actual date for the first time! Remember follows and reviews keep me writing x**


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve go on their first date

**Hi guys thank you for all the follows and reviews they mean so much so keep them coming! This chapter is from Bucky's point of view as he goes on a date for the first time.**

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Bucky sighed as he looked into his full length mirror and took in his choice of dark blue jeans, white shirt and waistcoat. His brow furrowed and he turned first to the left and then the right before undressing and tossing the shirt and waistcoat onto the bed along with most of his wardrobe that had been tried on and rejected already.

He hated that he couldn't afford anything new and he had worn most things to the club, he wanted this to be special he wanted to make an effort. Scratching behind his ear he was about to go through the pile again when he heard a knock at the door. He opened it topless with his jeans unbuttoned and smiled as his best friend Scott Lang stood there with a shopping bag, "Well you can't go like that it will give the wrong impression!" he said with a smirk.

Bucky rolled his eyes and walked into the small apartment knowing his friend would follow, "Got you this, just a shirt and jacket and before you try to refuse I know your wardrobe just take them!"

The dark haired man looked at him for a moment, his teeth worrying his lip as he considered accepting the gift from his friend. Finally he nodded and took the bag, inside was a blue shirt that bought out the colour of his eyes perfectly and a grey jacket that was light enough not to be too hot but perfect if they fancied taking a stroll after dinner.

Bucky looked up at his friend and smiled, "Thank you I just...thank you!" Scott waved his hand as if to brush it off but it meant a lot to Bucky. He knew Scott didn't have an easy life after a short stint in prison and now worked making frozen yogurt for idiot kids at the mall to keep paying to be able to see his daughter. The fact that he had thought to spend some money on him meant so much, the clothes might not be from some fancy label, but his friend had considered him and Bucky had not had that very much in his life before.

Scott waited in the living room as Bucky quickly tidied his room and got dressed and as he came out his friend smiled wide, "Wow I think you turned me blow Steve off and we can go paint the town brown!"

Bucky chuckled and shook his head, "Sorry man you just aren't my type, but I can be your wing man at the club!" Scott shuddered at that which made him laugh more.

XXX

Bucky had been smoking out the window when the door knocked, Scott had left about half an hour before and he knew exactly who was there this time. He flicked the cigarette out the window and closed it before checking his hair in the mirror above the fireplace and heading to answer the door. When he did he couldn't help but laugh awkwardly, "You got me flowers?" he said shaking his head in disbelief before stepping back for Steve to come inside.

Steve pushed his hands into his pockets as Bucky found a pint glass and filled it with water, placing the flowers into it her put them on the table in the living room. "I never been bought flowers before, it's nice thanks!"

The blonde male nodded and smiled, "You look great! It's not a super stuck up place, just nice I wanted to take you out!" he said clearly feeling out of his comfort zone. Bucky felt like he was melting as he watched him, he was trying to show him he was special and he was getting the message loud and clear. "I erm have a bike? But if you prefer we could take the train?" he said with a shrug.

Bucky smiled wide and nodded, "Oh I love motorbikes! Any excuse to put my arms around you right?" he laughed and grabbed his jacket, "Come on let's get some pasta and wine I am looking forward to this!" He was acting confident but he actually felt anything but as he locked his apartment and followed Steve down to his bike.

XXX

Running his fingers through his hair, Bucky fidgeted beside Steve as they waited to be seated, Steve had said it was a low key place but it felt very up town to him. He could feel straight couples watching them and yet Steve seemed oblivious as he chatted on about how he and Sharon had been talking on the phone and hopefully keeping their friendship.

Bucky bit his lip and tried to ignore the blonde in the corner glaring at them with her date, "Glad you could stay friends...you think she's trying to get you back?"

Steve raised a brow, "Well if she is I hadn't noticed! Look Buck Pietro explained some people think bisexuals aren't serious? I hope you don't think that? I wouldn't have changed my whole life and broke it off with Sharon if I wasn't! I really like you, I guess I just need you to trust me?"

Bucky paused and looked into his eyes before smiling softly, "I got to be honest I never believed in bi being an actual thing...but I trust you and whether this is something you need to believe until you decide? Or if it's really who you are I don't know, but I am sure you wouldn't lie and string me along like in the past...I trust you I do!"

Steve nodded and looked relieved, maybe he wasn't the only one who needed to read up on different sexualities? But before Steve could suggest anything the waiter came to show them to their seats. Bucky followed him wondering if he could do this, could he push away all his past hurts and really trust Steve? He knew the blonde was an all in sort of guy, if they were together that would be it for him, Bucky had never had that before and he wanted it more than anything.

By the time they had sat down and Steve had ordered them a bottle of wine it was clear that Bucky was deep in thought. Steve scratched the back of his head and reached over to take Bucky's hand in his, "Hey? Are you okay? I thought it would be me struggling and lost in thought...I promise this isn't a rebound..."

Before he could go on Bucky shook his head, "No this isn't that it's just you being bisexual I know it shouldn't bother me but it kinda does! I mean look around we are holding hands out of the gay district and people are staring that doesn't bother you? You could easily find some girl and go back to passing for straight and I would be..." he stopped and sat back in his chair as he sighed so heavily it was clear this was more about him than about Steve.

Bucky's brow furrowed and Steve stayed silent while he looked for the right words, "Alexander passed for straight every single day, he would promise me the world when he was with me but when it came down to it he liked it! he enjoyed being able to pass for straight and he liked partying with me because it was that danger he craved but the moment I realised he would never leave his wife? I was a mess Steve! Scott picked me up after every party, he held me when I cried and Sam listened to me talk for hours about how I didn't deserve better and that's you...Steve you are better and I guess I just have to find out if I am worthy of that!"

Steve smiled softly and gave Bucky's hand a squeeze, "I do not want to pass for straight, and I think if we just stick to our district then people won't get used to seeing us together! This is new for me and maybe I am making lots of mistakes here but to me you are no different from Sharon in that I want to take you out to eat! I want to be able to take you out with my friends too an I am proud for everyone to know we are together if you are? This is I guess up to you now? I took that time to find out who I am and I don't have it all figured out but I know I want to be with you...and if we are together then we will be doing things like this...I am proud to be with you and I don't care who stares!"

Bucky smiled slowly but when he finished it was a dazzling, big smile that set Steve's heart alight, "You are quite the romantic Steve Rogers! I might have some times of doubt but I am going to do all I can to make this work...are you really going to let me meet your friends?"

Steve smiled wide "Oh yes and my mother! You better believe I am going to romance you and make sure you never have doubts as much as I can!" Bucky gave his hand a squeeze as the wine arrived and smiled as he realised he was with someone who actually wanted him for more than just the way he looked and that was all he ever wanted.

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**How cute are they? Next chapter is from Steve's point of view as he comes out to his friends and introduces Bucky to them. Follows and reviews are everything!**


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